For Minnesotans everywhere, whether you are purebred or a transplant, it is once again State Fair Time. Knowing that no additional information than that statement is needed for the locals, I feel that it is important for non-Minnie’s to fully grasp the concept of our State Fair.
With the Trailer rally on Snelling Blvd. in full swing, representing the NASCAR event that the State Fair is; the gates are now officially OPEN. Where being 10-years behind in wardrobe and music taste is ideal; it is the perfect cross road between who Minnesotans believe they are, and what they actually are. Where mullets and fanny-packs are proudly displayed, any food choice comes on a stick, and Scandinavian tans (sunburns) are born. It is Minnesota’s annual dosage of soma.
Every year, more than 1.5 million folks pound the pavement at the State Fair. It is a 12 day binge on a food assortment hardly rivaled anywhere in the Midwest. If one so chooses, anything from Pig lickers (chocolate covered bacon) to pails over-flowing with Sweet Martha’s cookies can wet the taste palette. It is a weight gaining event that makes any dieter cringe. But, then again who goes to the Fair to count calories? Deep fried anything’s (DFA’s) and food on a stick is the base of the state fair food pyramid. Fat and sugars are the necessary stimulants to keep ones intensity as you weed through the Midway and the animal stables. It keeps your energy up to run through the haunted house and gives enough muscle jolt to keep your hands held high when rolling down the infamous State Fair Slide on a potato sack.
While you continuously digest a potluck of food, you will find yourself getting tired, sleepy, and having difficulties walking. But, to circumvent the sluggishness that might creep up on fair goers, the saving grace is the Yard stick. An ingenious adaptation or replacement of the cane that allows our glut-toned up bodies to continue to move forward long-after we loose our ability to walk. Have no worry folks, you will arrive at your next eatery shortly…I think that Governor Pawlenty is currently working on a new law that would effectively ban any surgeon in MN from performing gastric bypass surgeries during Fair time. Rest assurred, no one will be left out.
If you are a fan of free, the fair is also your prized location of the summer. With every outfit promoting some service or product, rest assured that you will at least travel home with a new pen. From free water (thanks Culligan) to free bags (name a college-get a bag) you will not have to pay for all the fun at the fair. In fact, the popularity of the University of St. Thomas purple bags is so enormous that it has been rumored that people from Wayzata will wait in line to get one. Additionally, another free component of the fair is the mental pedometer that we all obtain during Fair time. To get from point A to point B, look no further than the soles of you shoes, sandal’s, or crocks. The foot race to the food stands is our justification for our consumption addiction. We mentally assure ourselves that we had to have walked over 5 miles therefore taking in 9,000 calories is justified.
There are also cliques at the fair; certain areas that generate and magnetize corners of the fair population. While Judson Ave. and Underwood St. bring out the best in us, the Midway digresses us back to our youthful indiscretions. The Midway is where camaraderie goes to wither away, and different cultural backgrounds compete for an oversized anything that they are forced to piggy-back through the rest of the fair. The midway is the equivalent of a town’s (insert your’s here) or at best county fair on steroids. The rides are bigger and squeakier, the attendants are missing that many more teeth, and the tickets are that much more expensive. From an eardrum perspective, it is a continuous scream; of either pure joy or fear from the realization that the ride isn’t suppose to make that sound.
For those that are clever enough to stay clear of the midway can escape to a variety of entertainment options. Anything from watching your local news team in action to live animal births is available; it is just dependant on the individual’s definition of fun. The Grandstand provides the stage for a multitude of music options and parades will satisfy the kiddies and the AARP card carrying folks. When the political calendar coincides with the Fair be on the look out for stump speeches at their finest. From the Senate-contenders to your local commissioner seats, everyone is playing the ‘I’m just an average’ Minnesotan card. But, it does provide a unique opportunity to shake a hand, take a picture, and immediately post it to Facebook.
Overall, the fair does a tremendous job with accommodating every taste bud. After all, stimulation is the key. Therefore, in closing I would like to offer up a couple of recommendations to the Fair organizers to consider for 2009 and beyond.
1. Provide all fair goers with some type of elastic waist band (either in a pants, shorts, skirts, etc.) This will allow for maximum eating potential. This will effectively eliminate the self therapeutic “belt-notch” check.
2. Provide a “Golf Cart Express”. When our feet hurt, our yard sticks have snapped like twigs, and our momentum is slowing, having access to an inexpensive ride might be ideal. Though this would only create more street congestion, it would be another revenue stream for the Fair.
3. Finally, make a new State Tax Deduction for “fair contribution”. This could be an after-tax deduction from all participating MN residents to get their Fair expenses accounted for. It could be any where from $0.42 a check ($0.42 x 26 pay checks/yr = $11.00 admission fee) to whole dollar amounts that will equate to food credits at the Fair.
That is all for now. After all, going to the Fair is the only way to truly experience it.
So long and farewell...I have a Scandinavian tan to go work on.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Youthanizing the Election Process
With the political season gearing up for the final months of the 2008 presidential campaign, Barack Obama continues to demonstrate his youthful intuition. Boasting a tremendous internet following; including 1.3 million fans via the social networking site Facebook, receiving millions of single campaign contributions, and running Ethernet cables dry across college campuses; Obama is captivating and energizing the ever elusive 18-25 demographic.
Therefore, continuing to capitalize on the 2 main communications tools of young potential voters, Obama’s campaign announced that when a Vice Presidential candidate is chosen, the first to know will be alerted via email and text messages. More often than not, this move has come under criticism from the mainstream media. But, then again, why wouldn’t it?
Mass media outlets are desperate for information. Furthermore, they will go to amazing lengths to have first access, exclusive rights, allowing them to ultimately present the story as they see fit. But, when a high profile, headline grabbing individual takes this power from them, criticism is sure to ensue. The main argument and mass conclusion casts this move as another scheme to acquire countless email addresses and cell phone numbers. Reporters who have taken the opportunity to sign up for the “First to Know” campaign speak to the daily onslaught of email messages from the campaign; including highlights from campaign stump speeches to Obama’s next appearance on the Daily Show.
If Obama’s campaign is trying gain a countless amount of information, then so be it. His seeming opponent in the November election has already taken amazing strides to solidify a never ending information pipeline. With Senator McCain’s continued support of the Patriot Act he allows the government to funnel an abundant amount of our email address, correspondences, and phone conversations to the biggest database known...the federal governments. So even though Obama may gain some valuable information for potential use in driving his campaign to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, at least he is asking us for it.
But, how are Obama’s efforts of communicating his strategy or campaign news any different from mass media and their news updates? Networks from CNN to ESPN pride themselves on keeping you ‘connected’. From CNN’s podcasts for commute time enjoyment to ESPN’s MVP cell phone service through Verizon Wireless, everyone is competing for our individual attention spans. Most major outlets have the easy link to make their respective webpage your homepage, while at the same time, making every effort to market their coffee cups effectively for office product placement. If the attention of information sharing is to make it easy, then the Obama campaign is simply following established precedent.
So, with momentum and mass information evolving Obamania to internet banners daily, he is one step closer to showing the world how important believing is. By embracing the outlets that fit today’s needs, by communicating to the coveted age group of 18-25 via email and text messaging, he is demonstrating that communication can take place, person to person. It is that personal connection that is the equivalent to political gold. He continues to string together a unified vision of what is and could be; a fearful concept to the old school thought. But, at the end of the Presidential run, there is only one, untouchable process that Obama will not be able to utilize…voting via the internet. The Obama campaign has driven countless individuals to his website for a multitude of reasons. The only thing that people won't be able to do once they get there is vote. If November 4th see’s the vision of Obamania realized, the youthanization movement was the winning strategy. If Obama is not successful, than it is the Old School euthanization of the youth involvement in the election process.
Therefore, continuing to capitalize on the 2 main communications tools of young potential voters, Obama’s campaign announced that when a Vice Presidential candidate is chosen, the first to know will be alerted via email and text messages. More often than not, this move has come under criticism from the mainstream media. But, then again, why wouldn’t it?
Mass media outlets are desperate for information. Furthermore, they will go to amazing lengths to have first access, exclusive rights, allowing them to ultimately present the story as they see fit. But, when a high profile, headline grabbing individual takes this power from them, criticism is sure to ensue. The main argument and mass conclusion casts this move as another scheme to acquire countless email addresses and cell phone numbers. Reporters who have taken the opportunity to sign up for the “First to Know” campaign speak to the daily onslaught of email messages from the campaign; including highlights from campaign stump speeches to Obama’s next appearance on the Daily Show.
If Obama’s campaign is trying gain a countless amount of information, then so be it. His seeming opponent in the November election has already taken amazing strides to solidify a never ending information pipeline. With Senator McCain’s continued support of the Patriot Act he allows the government to funnel an abundant amount of our email address, correspondences, and phone conversations to the biggest database known...the federal governments. So even though Obama may gain some valuable information for potential use in driving his campaign to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, at least he is asking us for it.
But, how are Obama’s efforts of communicating his strategy or campaign news any different from mass media and their news updates? Networks from CNN to ESPN pride themselves on keeping you ‘connected’. From CNN’s podcasts for commute time enjoyment to ESPN’s MVP cell phone service through Verizon Wireless, everyone is competing for our individual attention spans. Most major outlets have the easy link to make their respective webpage your homepage, while at the same time, making every effort to market their coffee cups effectively for office product placement. If the attention of information sharing is to make it easy, then the Obama campaign is simply following established precedent.
So, with momentum and mass information evolving Obamania to internet banners daily, he is one step closer to showing the world how important believing is. By embracing the outlets that fit today’s needs, by communicating to the coveted age group of 18-25 via email and text messaging, he is demonstrating that communication can take place, person to person. It is that personal connection that is the equivalent to political gold. He continues to string together a unified vision of what is and could be; a fearful concept to the old school thought. But, at the end of the Presidential run, there is only one, untouchable process that Obama will not be able to utilize…voting via the internet. The Obama campaign has driven countless individuals to his website for a multitude of reasons. The only thing that people won't be able to do once they get there is vote. If November 4th see’s the vision of Obamania realized, the youthanization movement was the winning strategy. If Obama is not successful, than it is the Old School euthanization of the youth involvement in the election process.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
City of Lights
In the song LA Woman, Jim Morrison howls the question “are you a lucky little lady in the city of lights?” Well, a plane ride later, and a lyrical revision on the way and one can easily come up with “you are a lucky veteran now playing in the city of lights”. In a late night transaction that saw Favre’s career officially come to a conclusion in Green Bay, The New York Jets salvaged the veteran from the retirement yard by offering up a 4th round draft pick which is the school yard equivalent of a pudding snack for an apple.
So, for the first time in months or basically since Favre announced his retirement, the focus will move from a small mid-western town to the capital of the world. New York is probably one of the last huge media magnets that will not tire of this melodrama. In a city that publicly embraces all the nuances and idiosyncrasies of their sport stars, the straight shootin’, Mississippi slangin’ Favre will find himself with the most intense vocal workout of his career. Furthermore, with ESPN headquarters located in Bristol, CT, I am certain that the “Sunday Night Conversation” segment will be overhauled to accommodate Favre-mania that is sure to follow. Instead of watching Ed Sullivan and the Beatles, it will be Boomer and Tom Jackson with Favre on NFL Countdown.
But, the trade causes my football conscious to be disturbed. After all, wasn’t the rumoring to be surrounding 2 teams? What happen to the Buc’s in the trade equation? Did 5th Avenue flex its strength? Since this was a deal of discard and move on, I believe that the 4th Round Draft Pick given to the Packers for Favre is a steal. Therefore, a competitive compensation package that enticed the Packers Organization from the Jets is highly unlikely. I believe that the Jet’s were the first to act. Recognizing the uncomfortable shifts in Coach McCarthy’s bear sized frame when having to speak to this issue daily, the Jets capitalized on a mentally fatigued organization, and provided the Packer front office with an exit strategy that would accommodate the timeliness that was needed for closure. Now, the only way that the deal will turn sour in Packerland is if the Jets do start Favre, and the Jet’s records bests the Packers.
Sadly, I was pulling for Favre to end up with the Buccaneers. This would have kept him in the same conference, in a similar system, and best of all he would have followed a lot of other American’s retirement plans by migrating to Florida. After all, since the Buccaneer facility has been coined “One Buccaneer Palace” what better of a retirement home can you conjure up than that. Additionally, had Favre joined the Buc’s roster, we would have been competing against a guy who is nearly his own age. The current starter of the Buc’s is Jeff Garcia, a nomadic veteran of 38 who always plays just well enough to keep desperate teams interested. I don’t question his talent or passion, but he is in an elite group of 2 of quarterbacks pass the age of 37 who still feel like they can start (the other QB just signed with the Jets).
Therefore, had quarterback happy coach Gruden dealt a hand to land Favre, it would have been a like winning the bingo tournament every night at One Buccaneer Retirement Center. In fact, the only championship in Buccaneer history was done with a veteran QB under center in Brad Johnson in 2003. Finally, had Gruden been able to land Favre and convince Jake Plummer to lace up the spikes, he would have been the first coach in NFL history to beckon 2 players from the throws of AARP and Social Security benefits.
Regardless, Favre is now a Jet. And for those who remember Namath running off the field in Super Bowl 3 are just young enough to be able to understand the caliber of talent that has landed. Though it is not probable that Favre will be jogging off the Super Bowl field any time soon, at least the Jet fan base has a good month of day dreaming until reality sets in. New Yorkers can also take solace in the notion that another hall of famer is going to spend some time in their backyard before the sun goes down. In recent memory, players like Wayne Gretzky, Roger Clemen’s (his finale), and Pedro Martinez have filled the void of an established star that wasn’t raised in one of the boroughs. And though the Favre packaging is stamped “Made in Wisconsin,” it is safe to bet you won’t experience a recall on the product. If I remember correctly, the Number 4 Packer edition had a pretty high Consumer Report Rating.
Now sit back and relax. Favre just got into town about an hour ago. It’s time for him to take a look around and see which way the wind blows….
So, for the first time in months or basically since Favre announced his retirement, the focus will move from a small mid-western town to the capital of the world. New York is probably one of the last huge media magnets that will not tire of this melodrama. In a city that publicly embraces all the nuances and idiosyncrasies of their sport stars, the straight shootin’, Mississippi slangin’ Favre will find himself with the most intense vocal workout of his career. Furthermore, with ESPN headquarters located in Bristol, CT, I am certain that the “Sunday Night Conversation” segment will be overhauled to accommodate Favre-mania that is sure to follow. Instead of watching Ed Sullivan and the Beatles, it will be Boomer and Tom Jackson with Favre on NFL Countdown.
But, the trade causes my football conscious to be disturbed. After all, wasn’t the rumoring to be surrounding 2 teams? What happen to the Buc’s in the trade equation? Did 5th Avenue flex its strength? Since this was a deal of discard and move on, I believe that the 4th Round Draft Pick given to the Packers for Favre is a steal. Therefore, a competitive compensation package that enticed the Packers Organization from the Jets is highly unlikely. I believe that the Jet’s were the first to act. Recognizing the uncomfortable shifts in Coach McCarthy’s bear sized frame when having to speak to this issue daily, the Jets capitalized on a mentally fatigued organization, and provided the Packer front office with an exit strategy that would accommodate the timeliness that was needed for closure. Now, the only way that the deal will turn sour in Packerland is if the Jets do start Favre, and the Jet’s records bests the Packers.
Sadly, I was pulling for Favre to end up with the Buccaneers. This would have kept him in the same conference, in a similar system, and best of all he would have followed a lot of other American’s retirement plans by migrating to Florida. After all, since the Buccaneer facility has been coined “One Buccaneer Palace” what better of a retirement home can you conjure up than that. Additionally, had Favre joined the Buc’s roster, we would have been competing against a guy who is nearly his own age. The current starter of the Buc’s is Jeff Garcia, a nomadic veteran of 38 who always plays just well enough to keep desperate teams interested. I don’t question his talent or passion, but he is in an elite group of 2 of quarterbacks pass the age of 37 who still feel like they can start (the other QB just signed with the Jets).
Therefore, had quarterback happy coach Gruden dealt a hand to land Favre, it would have been a like winning the bingo tournament every night at One Buccaneer Retirement Center. In fact, the only championship in Buccaneer history was done with a veteran QB under center in Brad Johnson in 2003. Finally, had Gruden been able to land Favre and convince Jake Plummer to lace up the spikes, he would have been the first coach in NFL history to beckon 2 players from the throws of AARP and Social Security benefits.
Regardless, Favre is now a Jet. And for those who remember Namath running off the field in Super Bowl 3 are just young enough to be able to understand the caliber of talent that has landed. Though it is not probable that Favre will be jogging off the Super Bowl field any time soon, at least the Jet fan base has a good month of day dreaming until reality sets in. New Yorkers can also take solace in the notion that another hall of famer is going to spend some time in their backyard before the sun goes down. In recent memory, players like Wayne Gretzky, Roger Clemen’s (his finale), and Pedro Martinez have filled the void of an established star that wasn’t raised in one of the boroughs. And though the Favre packaging is stamped “Made in Wisconsin,” it is safe to bet you won’t experience a recall on the product. If I remember correctly, the Number 4 Packer edition had a pretty high Consumer Report Rating.
Now sit back and relax. Favre just got into town about an hour ago. It’s time for him to take a look around and see which way the wind blows….
Monday, August 4, 2008
Ticket to Ride
Packer nation- Do not fear a reduction in the loss column or an increase in turnover ratio, fear your quarterback contingency plan after Favre retires…again.
With the popularity of the NFL starting to grind up any other sport story that nears its market share path, the focus has only intensified on Monday August 4 as Number 4 returns to Green Bay. The visit is not to execute a community volunteer event, nor is it to come and talk through his number retirement ceremony slotted for the first week of the NFL regular season. Instead, Brett flew up on a private jet to move Aaron Rodger’s locker accommodations over one spot to reclaim the locker address he has lived at for the past 17 years.
The past 2 months have been a dismal representation of what competition breeds in our sports heroes. Their mind set is unflinching, the focus is intensified, and the determination will leave in its wake a more suppressing sight than a F5 Tornado road through your local town. For anyone who knows what the call letters E-S-P-N stand for, than you are more then aware of the quarterback situation in Packer-nation. Since declaring his retirement, with heartfelt emotion and sincere tears, Brett has yet to exit stage left.
Bowing out, after what can arguably and statistically be his best season since the late 1990’s, Favre had the packers sitting on a 13-3 record and a birth in the NFC Championship game. The accomplishment was largely done on the back of the aging veteran, who’s flare for improvisation and ability to remain tone deaf to critics helped mature a very young team to Superbowl caliber readiness in a season. All the credit should be given to Favre. It was a great transformation to watch after the Pack struggled to 8-8 record in 2006. Going into the 2007 season, the Packers were admittedly focused on the ‘re-build’ year. The fruits of which, Packer coaches and management hoped, would return the franchise to annual playoff glory. But, since Favre announced retirement, it has seemed that his aches have subsided and his mental state has drifted back to Sunday Afternoons.
Back to the present moment, Favre is back in Green Bay after having Commissioner Goddell reinstate him. Mike McCarthy spends 90 percent of his day focused on a position that he thought was resolved while attempting to stay poker faced when talking about the intentions of the organization. This is not an easy place to be in. Public Opinion is a dangerous thing, especially when a town of 100,000 echoes the same sentiment. McCarthy has taken a page from the White House PR room and stuck to the same statement, “Aaron Rodgers is our starting quarterback.” This has been consistent throughout the daytime cheese-opera that is Packer Training Camp.
Now, faced with the reinstatement, it is likely that a showdown of sorts will be held in an open try out between Favre and Rodgers. I don’t think that this is fair to either individual. Obviously, Favre has earned the right to start. Being the iron man of the NFL, Favre has brought the best winning percentage, a Championship, 3 MVP’s and a scroll’s worth of NFL Records to the Packer faithful since his arrival in 1992. His career is the platform that this quarterback debate is being hosted. There is no way to compare Favre and Rogers. But, it was never the intended point to do so. Rodgers is Favre of 1992; unproven, no fan following, and looking for his first opportunity. He was drafted in 2005 to give the Packers a contingency plan to have in place when number 4 walked away. But, with the looming reality that Favre, and quite possibly the Packers, is not ready to pass the torch, maybe Rodgers should be the one asking for his outright release. This would allow the Packers to welcome Brett back as the Savior he is hoping to be, while giving Rodgers the opportunity to test his skills in another city.
It is never easy to watch your hero walk away. From Montana to Young, to Elway to Griese, other great NFL franchises have had to say goodbye. If Brett is still eager to play, there is only one home for him. Watching number 4 play in purple or rallying chicagonites isn’t ideal in any sense. Therefore, commit to one. Don’t promise Rodgers the chance to lead the team only to take him out from center and replace the pigskin with the clipboard.
This is my official declaration/petition to the Green Bay Packers to RELEASE AARON RODGERS.
The odds are heavily against Rodgers having a career that even remotely mirrors that of Favre. So, with that in mind, give Aaron the chance to make his own ‘Packer’ career instead of sitting on the Falcons sidelines in perpetuity.
With the popularity of the NFL starting to grind up any other sport story that nears its market share path, the focus has only intensified on Monday August 4 as Number 4 returns to Green Bay. The visit is not to execute a community volunteer event, nor is it to come and talk through his number retirement ceremony slotted for the first week of the NFL regular season. Instead, Brett flew up on a private jet to move Aaron Rodger’s locker accommodations over one spot to reclaim the locker address he has lived at for the past 17 years.
The past 2 months have been a dismal representation of what competition breeds in our sports heroes. Their mind set is unflinching, the focus is intensified, and the determination will leave in its wake a more suppressing sight than a F5 Tornado road through your local town. For anyone who knows what the call letters E-S-P-N stand for, than you are more then aware of the quarterback situation in Packer-nation. Since declaring his retirement, with heartfelt emotion and sincere tears, Brett has yet to exit stage left.
Bowing out, after what can arguably and statistically be his best season since the late 1990’s, Favre had the packers sitting on a 13-3 record and a birth in the NFC Championship game. The accomplishment was largely done on the back of the aging veteran, who’s flare for improvisation and ability to remain tone deaf to critics helped mature a very young team to Superbowl caliber readiness in a season. All the credit should be given to Favre. It was a great transformation to watch after the Pack struggled to 8-8 record in 2006. Going into the 2007 season, the Packers were admittedly focused on the ‘re-build’ year. The fruits of which, Packer coaches and management hoped, would return the franchise to annual playoff glory. But, since Favre announced retirement, it has seemed that his aches have subsided and his mental state has drifted back to Sunday Afternoons.
Back to the present moment, Favre is back in Green Bay after having Commissioner Goddell reinstate him. Mike McCarthy spends 90 percent of his day focused on a position that he thought was resolved while attempting to stay poker faced when talking about the intentions of the organization. This is not an easy place to be in. Public Opinion is a dangerous thing, especially when a town of 100,000 echoes the same sentiment. McCarthy has taken a page from the White House PR room and stuck to the same statement, “Aaron Rodgers is our starting quarterback.” This has been consistent throughout the daytime cheese-opera that is Packer Training Camp.
Now, faced with the reinstatement, it is likely that a showdown of sorts will be held in an open try out between Favre and Rodgers. I don’t think that this is fair to either individual. Obviously, Favre has earned the right to start. Being the iron man of the NFL, Favre has brought the best winning percentage, a Championship, 3 MVP’s and a scroll’s worth of NFL Records to the Packer faithful since his arrival in 1992. His career is the platform that this quarterback debate is being hosted. There is no way to compare Favre and Rogers. But, it was never the intended point to do so. Rodgers is Favre of 1992; unproven, no fan following, and looking for his first opportunity. He was drafted in 2005 to give the Packers a contingency plan to have in place when number 4 walked away. But, with the looming reality that Favre, and quite possibly the Packers, is not ready to pass the torch, maybe Rodgers should be the one asking for his outright release. This would allow the Packers to welcome Brett back as the Savior he is hoping to be, while giving Rodgers the opportunity to test his skills in another city.
It is never easy to watch your hero walk away. From Montana to Young, to Elway to Griese, other great NFL franchises have had to say goodbye. If Brett is still eager to play, there is only one home for him. Watching number 4 play in purple or rallying chicagonites isn’t ideal in any sense. Therefore, commit to one. Don’t promise Rodgers the chance to lead the team only to take him out from center and replace the pigskin with the clipboard.
This is my official declaration/petition to the Green Bay Packers to RELEASE AARON RODGERS.
The odds are heavily against Rodgers having a career that even remotely mirrors that of Favre. So, with that in mind, give Aaron the chance to make his own ‘Packer’ career instead of sitting on the Falcons sidelines in perpetuity.
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